Epiphany

I had a sort of epiphany last night at my book club. First, let me tell you about my book club. A few girls get together about once a month. Last night we reviewed Eat, Pray, Love and actually it was kind of a boring book. Anyway, we talk about the book for about an hour or so and then spend the rest of the night - sometimes they're there way after midnight - just talking about stuff. This was my second time there. I have to duck out at about 11:15 to get home to "dream feed" Darci.

I've been thinking a lot lately about if I were to die, how much would the kids remember me as they grew up based on the ages they are now. At the book club we were talking about a lot of stuff and a girl was talking about how 2 months ago she was walking across a grocery store parking lot with her purse on her shoulder and some teenagers drove by her and grabbed her purse and pretty much drug her across the parking lot before her purse strap broke and she skid across the lot.

And then it hit me.... its not just the kids who would miss out on me if I died, but I would miss out on them! All the time I have with them everyday now would be gone. I wouldn't be able to hear them whine or complain or laugh or anything anymore. I would be the one missing out. So I had better enjoy EVERY minute with them now while I can. I need to have more one-on-one time with them, especially with Derek because he's in school most of the day. I need to create more memories for them, do more fun time and just enjoy them even more than I already do. Because when it comes down to it, nothing else really matters when we die except for family. I don't want to get to the other side, and watch them grow up regretting what I didn't do with the, what I was too busy or too lazy to do. So this is my new goal in life. I have 4 beautiful children and I'm going to enjoy them even more even when they're kicking and screaming. The TV will be turned off even more, even though we don't really watch it that much to begin with. The computer will be turned off a little more.

And as for Derek, we've decided that he will do Kindergarten again. Academically, there's no problem with him going to first grade, he would do great. But I'm in no hurry for him to grow up sooner than he already is, and he started kindergarten early anyway, so this will put him back in the grade he's supposed to be in. It'll be better for him in high school when he's one of the oldest kids instead of one of the youngest.